APPLETON — An Appleton couple was awakened in the wee hours of the morning Wednesday to the sound of a burglar whistling in their basement.
Then events really got strange: The man was discovered wearing the couple’s clothes and covered with barbecue sauce.
…
He told the police that the barbecue sauce, taken from the couple’s refrigerator, was “an urban disguise, if you will.”
All I can add is, insane or not, if ever there was a case where the details of the crime backed up an insanity plea, this would have to be it.
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[...] When I think of camouflage, BBQ sauce isn’t that high on the list. [...]
Well, if he’s going to cover himself in BBQ sauce, it would only be fitting to skewer him and stick his ass on a hot grill. Too bad they didn’t say if he was white meat or dark meat.
Not really relevant, but I just watched an episode of New Tricks, a BBC dramedy, in which a detective asked a divorcee why she had spread mustard on her ex’s walls: “He was out of ketchup.”